Make that really, creepy stalker episode alert. Ewwww.
Not sure what’s creepier, Jane being caught by the stalker, or Jane wearing those bright pink heels.
They’re really turning this show into CSI – with all of the main characters always in peril. It gets tiring. Jane’s "Butchy McBadass" image is going to take a hit if she keeps getting herself caught by bad guys and psycho stalkers. And speaking of comparisons to CSI, did anyone else think of the CSI “Grave Danger” episode (Season 5 finale) where Nick was buried alive and had the webcam in there with him so his colleagues could watch him as he was trapped and fighting for his life? At least there were no ants for Jane to worry about here, only a psycho stalker who comes & goes & his keeping tabs on her.
If it has to be that Jane’s in trouble, I really like the fact that everyone bands together to find her. Although, I have to wonder where Lt Cavanaugh is. You’d think with one of his detectives being kidnapped, he’d be there to be in charge of her retrieval. They even promoted him to “regular” status and have him in the main credits this season, but since the first few episodes of Season 3, he’s pretty much been MIA.
Let’s break it down.
1. the guest stars
* Craig Morgan as Dr Billy Ray Higgins. – I must say that for just being a singer, Craig did very well in an actual acting role (i.e. not playing himself). I wouldn’t mind having Dr Billy Ray back again…instead of the annoying Dr Pike. If you’re not aware of the connection and wondering why Craig would be on the show, be sure to check out Craig’s video for his song, “This old boy”, which features none other than Angie Harmon, and a very cute dog.
* David Deluise as stalker Dominick Bianchi – Be careful, David. You’re going to get a “stalker” reputation. Remember “Stalker Pete”, Sam’s stalker-ish boyfriend on Stargate SG-1? Okay, so he wasn’t really a stalker in that. Since most of Sam’s life was “classified”, Pete followed her and got himself into a situation where he got shot, and it ended up where she had to tell him about her ‘classified’ job. Sounds more like stalker than cop to me. I must say, though, that with the scruffy beard, David really looks like his daddy. I miss Dom. Speaking of…was it just coincidence that his character’s name was Dominick? Or maybe it was in tribute to his dad…although not sure how much of a tribute it would be since the character was a stalker.
* Ed Begley, Jr returns as the annoying Dr Pike – I think it’s sad how they’re evolving this character, or should I say “de-volving”? He started out as an incompetent doctor with an over-inflated ego, then graduated him to highly annoying and total antithesis of Maura. But now, all they’ve made him is an annoying, bumbling idiot, goofball caricature. It’s basically the same thing they did to Papa Rizzoli.
2. Mama Rizz has some new wheels
We were left last week with Mama R ‘dressed to kill’ just to go to work, so I was hoping we’d have some follow-up to that. I guess not this week. What we do get is somewhat of a redux of Season 1 Mama Rizz when she was promoting that anti-aging drink. Only this time around, it’s a cheap coffee, which comes with an ad-mobile Camry and a loudspeaker.
3. the ever-expanding Rizzoli family tree
When Jane & Maura made up at the end of episode 2 this season, Jane mentioned that Maura was part of the family. We know the Isles part of the family tree (with Maura, Constance & the elusive Mr Isles) also includes Paddy Doyle, and now Dr Hope Martin, and Cailin Martin. It seems now the Rizzoli part of the family tree is expanding as well, as we’ve been introduced to Lydia and her baby Rizzoli (which Angela is still unaware of the baby’s parentage). What is it with the wacky females who aren’t the main characters? If we’re going to have “Aunt” Jane, I wish they would have stuck with Lily as Frankie’s kid and then we could have had Theresa coming back from time to time. As Jane said “I was so looking forward to holidays with Theresa.” She was odd, but fun. Do we really need a half-wit woman like Lydia as part of the Rizzolis now? At least bring back Frost’s ex (the FBI lady) to give us more of a real grown-up mentality again. Or even Korsak’s ex, Melody. I know we get another of Korsak’s ex’s on the way soon as well. We really need to have a Frost or Korsak-centered ep again. I miss those. They would at least bring more maturity to the show. I’m kind of sick of the extreme goofiness that this season has brought. The goofiness is only cute when it’s between Jane & Maura.
4. Angie’s injury
while watching this episode, I couldn’t help but remember that this is the one where Angie threw out her back and could barely move during filming. I guess it’s a good thing she was strapped to the bed for part of it. She did a great job of not showing her discomfort. At least she didn’t have to chase suspects or tackle people. It also helped that there was a lot of Frost/Korsak, Frankie/Angela, and Maura/Doctors so Angie didn’t have to be in every scene like she is so many times.
5. Let’s take a closer look at the various scenes.
This usually comes last, but since I need a Rizzles fix, let’s bring the weekly dose of Jane & Maura
* * it’s all about the doughnuts
(at the D1 Café)
A: Jane, stop playing with the doughnuts & help
J: I’m not playing (rolls the doughnut around her finger) this is playing. I still don’t get why you agreed to host this thing and why they don’t bring their own clothes.
M: well, the convention center doubled their rate after last year’s…issue.
A: what issue
J: (chuckles) she left a severed head in the hotel fridge.
(the bread man delivers)
A: Dominick, delivering the bread again.
D: oh, I can’t find a new delivery guy.
A: oh
D: I don’t mind. It’s nice to get out from behind the counter.
A: mm-hmm. Jane, you remember Dominick?
J: …yes, how are you?
D: good. It’s nice to see you, Jane.
J: good to see you.
D: You, um, you used to love fresh ciabatta rolls
J: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bianchi’s Bakery. Oh, I haven’t been there in years. Maura, you got to try one of these.
M: white flour only uses the endosperm.
J: It’s awful to eat with you.
A: Dominick, whenever you get backed up, I’m more than willing to swing by & pick up my order…in my new car.
J: What? Since when?
A: Since I became Can’O Espresso’ salesperson of the month.
J: a crappy canned coffee gave you a car?
A: a Camry. She’s beautiful. Wait till you see her.
Seems Jane & Maura are still having the eating issues. Last time it was the effects of a “chilled lavender towel” that interrupted Jane’s lunch at the café. Is Mama Rizz really trying to set up Jane with Dominick? I think she’ll rethink that soon enough. It’s also cute to know that the convention center wasn’t very happy to have found the severed head that Maura left last year at the convention. That is SO Maura. And of course, Jane would know about that incident and not be afraid to mention it – and even rub it in a bit. Poor Maura.
** Dr Pike arrives in all his glory
J: (to Maura) is he with the band? (To Dr Pike) Hello, Dr Pike, it’s good to see you.
DrP: Detective Rizzoli, you look stunning.
J: Hmm. Stunning. Thank you. (Maura turns around to look at him)
DrP: oh, Hello, Dr Isles.
M: Hello, Dr Pike. You brought a few things with you.
DrP: well, when you’re a cutting edge forensic scientist, you have an obligation to share that with your less-skilled colleagues.
M: oh, the colleagues that can’t tell the difference between a .38 and a .45 caliber bullet?
J: Oh, look…more cutting edge forensic scientists
M: (addresses the room) Hello, I am delighted to welcome you all to the annual Bullet & Blast Injuries Symposium.
DrBRH: well, that’s very nice of you, Dr Isles. Dr Billy Ray Higgins.
M: of course, nice to see you again. I look forward to your PowerPoint Presentation on the pathophysiology of blast injuries.
Dr Popov: (to Angela) Hey, girl
A: me? (to Jane) he called me a girl. (to Dr Popo) can I help you?
DrPopov: (hands her a bottle of booze) yeah, take this. Goes in the freezer. When I need, you bring.
It’s cute how Jane is still remembering her 4-hour sensitivity training and putting it to good use on Dr Pike. See, he loves her now, and thinks that she’s “Stunning.” Who else thinks that Jane’s in trouble with her LLBFF for getting paid that compliment by Pike? It’s also interesting to note how much being around Jane has rubbed off on Maura. In the first season, we never would have seen Maura showing such a blatant dislike for someone – even an ass like Pike.
** Jane’s errant text messages
J: not again.
M: what?
J: I guess my phone number is close to some guy’s wife’s number. I keep getting all these weird texts, like, “hon, pick up my dry cleaning,” “hon, I think we’re out of milk”
Dr Pike: Dr Isles, I specifically requested a special meal…steel-cut oats with dried-fruit topping.
(Jane & Maura’s phones both buzz)
M: this better be a murder.
J: Mm-hmm. It is. Come on.
DrP: excuse me.
J: Have a doughnut. No endosperm.
Jane & Maura walk out. Maura has a big smile on her face after Jane’s comment.
Awww. That’s 25 good LLBFF points for Jane. See how she makes it up to Maura? Getting in a dig at Dr Pike about the health benefits of doughnuts, and no sperm. Well, okay. Endosperm, that is. Close enough. Right? At least it made Maura chuckle. That’s all that matters. And with the LLBFFs, having any kind of sperm around is usually an annoyance.
** at the crime scene
Jane arrives, everyone else is already processing.
J: hey
K: double homicide. (hands her the bullet)
J: looks like a .38. who are the victims?
K: husband & wife shrinks. No sign of forced entry. No surveillance cameras inside or outside the building.
J: that’s bad. What, you think we’re looking for a patient?
K: maybe. Frost is talking to the office manager.
J: (inhales sharply & looks up at a poster on the wall) Dr Eve Parker? What? THE Dr Eve? Media’s gonna have a field day with this.
K: why, who’s she?
J: someone who hated children.
M: Jane, that’s not true.
J: really? She wrote “No womb for children.” She advocates childless marriages. Ma used to listen to her radio program when she was mad at us.
M: (chuckles) well, I am only familiar with the work of her husband, Dr Rod Parker.
J: yeah, did he hate kids too
M: he was an expert on delusional disorders.
J: (looking at the body) Mm. soot on the clothing. Stippling on the skin.
K: yeah, his was a close-contact through-and-through. Hers was from maybe three feet away.
J: look at the way the bodies are positioned. She’s…on her way out to the bathroom, which suggests our shooter was lying in wait.
K: maybe the husband was talking to the shooter, and she surprises them?
J: Maybe. Or, she comes out first, he hears the gun go off, runs out…what we need to know is, were they both targets or just one of them.
Frost arrives.
F: office manager found the bodies when she came in at 7am.
J: did you get a patient list from her.
F: No. I got a search warrant going. She gave me yesterday’s patient sign-in sheet, though.
J: okay, so Dr Eve’s last patient was at 5:00, Dr Rod’s at 6. What, patients only sign in with their initials?
M: it’s a privacy issue.
J: well, thank you, doctor. I had no idea grandly deluded people wanted privacy. (looks around) Hey Maura, you got your tweezers?
M: Mm-hmm.
J: Look (points to the watch on Dr Parker’s arm) it’s a piece of latex from the shooter’s glove.
M: latex has many uses…balloons, pencil erasers, spandex.
J: Okay, I’m going to guess that the shooter wasn’t wearing spandex or carrying balloons. … I hope it’s enough to recover a partial print.
Oh boy. Jane’s in trouble again. Last week, Maura was on a leather fetish kick. This time it’s latex. I wonder if that includes liquid latex – which brings me back again to CSI. Lady Heather, anyone? I think all shows should include Lady Heather. Maura would be so enthralled with the woman. And good golly, I bet we’re going to get the “never having kids” speech coming up again at some point here.
** the morgue is back to normal.
J: hey. Where are all your “Dr Death” friends?
M: enjoying a lecture on using silicone scalps for terminal ballistics testing
J: and you’re missing it?
M: I know. ‘cause I needed to get away from Dr Pike. I think Pike is on the take.
J: what?
M: he is using his position to privateer.
J: he’s…attacking foreign ships during wartime?
M: I think he is taking kickbacks to hawk a forensic vacuum.
J: Maura, this is very serious.
M: it is?
J: NO. you haven’t started the autopsy yet?
M: Pike is handing out hats & pens, & travel mugs. That is swag, detective.
J: I’ll get our swag unit on it.
M: I need to know how to entrap him.
J: okay. Take it easy, Serpico. And can we please solve our double homicide first?
M: okay, help me undress her. Think you can be childless and have a fulfilling marriage?
J: no. with or without children, marriage is miserable.
M: oh, not so. Studies show that parents’ happiness has remained steady since 1972 while non-parents’ happiness has dropped.
J: did I tell you I’m starting a new organization called “S.A.W.”?
M: that’s a hostile acronym.
J: it stands for “Stuck At Work.” And I’m going to be stuck here longer if you don’t get on it.
M: okay. (moves the clothes and metal clanks. Jane picks it up)
J: it’s a shell casing. Where’s the bullet that went through Dr Rod? (Maura gets it) Which means that she was shot first, then he was shot, and the casing flew off into her sleeve. Damn. No prints.
Jane’s phone buzzes.
J: oh, come on. Not again with this weird husband guy. Look. “Hon, don’t forget your Brazilian-wax appointment.” What…I mean, how many times I got to tell this guy. “I’m not your wife.” Oh, forgot to tell you Frankie met Lydia today.
Maura drops the shell casing.
J: you’re looking very, very guilty. What are you not telling me?
M: … I promised Tommy that I-I wouldn’t say.
J: huh. (picks up a scalpel and shows it to Maura) this looks very sharp.
M: okay. Okay. But don’t get mad.
(we quick cut to the hallway of the lab where a few techs are walking by. Jane’s scream can be heard loudly)
J: WHAT? TOMMY SLEPT WITH LYDIA?
ROFL that cut away was cute. It’s also cute how Jane can tell with just one look that Maura is hiding something from her. I guess she’s learned how to do that since the time Maura withheld her knowledge that Tommy was going to be arrested. Poor Maura. It seems they’re dragging her down as well in this petty catfight (yes, I’ll dare to call it that) with Dr Pike.
** hijinks at the Robber
M: you have no idea how fun medical examiners’ parties can be. Talk about the case…you’ll fit right in.
J: okay. So we got that patient list. It’s like over 200 people.
M: well, I’ll take a look at the doctors’ sessions notes. Maybe I can eliminate the non-violent patients.
J: okay. I mean, I think that Dr Rod was the target. I think Dr Eve just picked the wrong time to go to the bathroom. Oh
Dr Pike comes up to them, a fake hatchet stuck on his head.
DrP: for you, Detective Rizzoli (hands her a magnifying glass) and since you’re so good at stabbing people in the back (hands Maura a knife, which she doesn’t take)
Maura walks up closer to him.
M: I haven’t reported you to the BBVB…yet. (they walk away from Pike. Maura whispers to Jane) bullet & blast violation board.
J: oh my.
M: Jane. (turns her around to show her a table full of items) swag.
J: (mimics talking into a secret hand microphone) attention all swag units, we have swag distribution in progress at the Dirty Robber.
M: this is very serious. ( Jane’s phone buzzes.) you could lose your Bullet & Blast certification.
J: (looks at her phone) oh, not again.
M: what, another murder?
J: another weird “hon” message. “Hon, waiting up for you.” Guess I should hurry home since I’ve had my Brazilian.
M: I think you should tell your mother.
J: where I wax is my business.
M: Lydia’s baby might be her grandchild.
J: that baby might also be her ex-husband’s bimbo’s kid. It’s a good thing Tommy’s fishing in the Gulf. I want to kill him.
M: maybe that’s why your father called off the engagement.
J: because…Lydia told him that it might be Tommy’s baby? No, no, no, no. No, no, this can’t be happening. No, no, no, no
M: are you calling your father?
J: no, I’m gonna call Frankie.
M: well, you can’t tell him he might be an uncle over the phone.
J: …but… … (turns & walks away looking stunned)
First of all – Maura & Pike…enough already. It’s not funny anymore, it’s become cartoonish. Secondly, Jane & the ‘hon’ text messages are getting freaky. She’s a detective. Can’t she figure out who the messages are coming from? Sheesh, it seems Frost can find everything else with just a few computer clicks. Why not Jane’s stalker? Thirdly, Maura just stunned Jane into speechlessness at the thought of being an Aunt. Cute.
** Dr Billy Ray to the rescue
Jane comes back into the mix as Drs Pike & Popov fight.
J: what the hell?
DrPo: You call me moron, huh? (The two doctors are fighting.)
M: (to Jane) Pike declared his love for me.
J: what??
Dr Billy Ray intervenes.
DrBRH: hey. Hey. You two are drunker than old Cooter Brown. Hey. Hey. If you don’t quit, I’m gonna whip you both so hard, you won’t be able to sit down for a week.
J: (snorts) thank you
DrBRH: (to Jane & Maura) sorry about that. How’s your, uh, case going?
J: you know, we don’t have much forensic evidence. Found a shell casing, but there’s no prints.
DrBRH: I’ve been working on this new technique I studied over in England where we can sometimes corrode the brass casing.
J: what, so you think you might be able to pull up a print?
DrBRH: I might. I can look at it for you tomorrow.
J: yeah. yeah, that’d be great. Thank you very much.
Dr Billy Ray leaves.
J: (to Maura) all right, party’s over. Let’s go. And YOU’RE telling Frankie
M: I’m telling Frankie, what?
I love Jane’s reaction to Maura telling her about Pike’s declaration of love. I also love that Jane wasn’t the one to have to break things up between the two cartoon characters. That would have been even more cliché than the rest of this episode has been.
** telling Frankie
F: what do you want to tell me?
J: Maura knows about Lydia
F: that’s what you wanted to tell me?
J: no. uh, okay. It’s about Tommy. And he, uh…I can’t believe I can’t say this.
M: he slept with Lydia.
F: He what?
LOL usually it’s the other way around with Maura unable to speak and Jane blurting things out. I love how that gets reversed when it pertains to personal Rizzoli family info. And it’s fun to see them doing this at Maura’s house as well. You’d think it would have been at Jane’s apartment.
** helping Lydia
Angela comes in dragging Lydia
A: Maura.
F: Lydia?
J: Lydia?
A: oh, my god, Maura. She needs your help.
L: oh, I don’t feel so good.
A: this is Lydia Sparks. She ran into my new car.
M: (to Lydia) it’s nice to meet you.
A: can you tell the doctor what’s wrong?
J: (softly) yeah, she’s pregnant with your first grandchild and she’s drunk.
F: uh, uh, let’s get her on the couch.
A: easy.
F: okay, I got it. I got it. Here we go. Here we go.
M:all right, take it easy, Frankie.
L: I like couches.
F: yeah, well.
L: (to Frankie) oh, you’re really cute.
J: uh, ma, why would you bring a drunk, pregnant stranger into Maura’s house.
A: she came to the café to apologize. She felt bad.
J: so you cheered her up with malt liquor?
A: we had dinner…pasta, salad, some water.
L: I have to pee.
A: again? She just went.
M: Lydia, are you thirsty.
L: uh-huh. I’m really thirsty.
M: okay, Frankie, call an ambulance.
(Frankie calls on his radio)
M: (to Angela) get her some orange juice.
J: can’t she just sleep it off in her car?
M: she has gestational diabetes.
J: well, how bad is that?
M: bad. She’s slipping into a diabetic coma.
L: (to Jane) will you hold my hand? I’m really scared.
J: okay. Um. It’s gonna be okay, all right? We’re gonna take care of you.
Awww it’s the beginning of Auntie Jane. And another branch on the Rizzoli family tree. As I said before, I’d rather have Theresa & Lily around with Frankie than this bimbo. I hope they don’t keep her as a cartoonish blonde bimbo for long. Why can’t we have recurring characters that have substance. Where are Constance and Paddy when you really need them? Maybe it’s just that Lydia is sick and really isn’t that much of a bimbo. *snort* yeah, right.
** Maura takes her part in the Rizzoli family very seriously.
J: it’s like my mother has a homing device for trouble. That’s where Tommy gets it. And we’re throwing Lydia back in the pond as soon as she gets out of the hospital.
M: okay, but we’re telling your mother who she is first. I’m calling a family meeting.
J: what? It’s not your family.
M: well, it’s my guest house. And I only have a one-guest policy.
J: … okay, let’s see if we can solve these murders first. …w-what? Fine. I will get Frankie and Ma to the Dirty Robber later today.
Dr Pike arrives, looking…a bit worse for wear.
DrP: good morning, Dr Isles. You don’t look very well rested. Guess you don’t know your limit.
M: you don’t remember?
DrP: did you do something inappropriate? … now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to prepare my presentation on entrance & exit wounds. (to Jane) you look stunning, detective.
Awww Maura can’t even get back at him since he doesn’t remember what a fool he made of himself. Darn. And why no witty quip from Jane to stick up for her LLBFF? It’s great to see Maura feel herself included in the Rizzoli family enough to even think about calling a “family meeting.” But -100 LLBFF points to Jane for now telling Maura that she’s NOT part of the family. Make up your mind, Jane. Remember, Maura likes leather & latex… whips, dog collars, spandex… And I like Maura’s “one-guest” policy for the guest house. See, Jane’s mama is the only one she’ll let stay there (okay, and wayward brother for a while as well)
** “talking Google” disses Google?
DrBRH: Got my fingerprint-enhancement device. You ready to try it?
J: yeah, follow me, Dr Rue Goldberg.
M: I’m’ surprised you know who that is.
J: oh, Maura. 25% of the population uses the internet.
M: oh, not fair. It doesn’t count if you have to use google.
LOL Poor Maura. Somehow, Jane’s catching up with her Google-speak and Maura doesn’t seem to like the competition. And Jane should know that if it doesn’t come from “Talking Google” herself, then it’s not official google speak.
** Dr Billy Ray gets a partial
DrBRH: can’t get these in a forensic-supply catalog. I put this together myself.
J: never would have guessed.
M: so, the idea is the electrostatic charge allows the fingerprint powder to adhere to the brass casing.
DrBRH: yep. Dr John Bond at Leicester University developed it. Classic Electrostatic Physics.
J: shoot. I’m only an expert in COMMON electrostatic physics.
Dr Billy Ray finishes with the shell casing & shows it to Jane.
J: that’s unbelievable. You got a partial print.
M: but there isn’t enough ridge detail.
J: all I need is enough to compare it to a list of patients.
Awww See, Jane can get excited over scientific things. However, CSI has done that electromagnetic stuff to get fingerprints & footprints before. Why would this be something Maura hasn’t seen yet?
** their maternal side (or is it?)
Back at casa Isles, the two are sitting on the couch, under a blanket. Jane has both wrists wrapped, from pulling on her handcuffs.
J: well, the worst part was the outfit. Pink shoes. (scoffs) vomit.
M: I think Dominick killed Dr Parker because he was trying to warn you.
J: poor guy. And Doctor Eve got shot just ‘cause she had to pee. I mean, that’s just wrong.
M: In Dominick’s mind, Dr Parker was breaking up your marriage.
J: and what a marriage it would have been. Did I show you my honeymoon pictures?
M: oh, you went on a honeymoon?
J: my head did.
M: mm.
J: apparently, we missed the luau. I always wanted to go to a luau.
M: I’m thinking of freezing my eggs.
(Jane swallows her drink of beer)
J: how much wine have you had?
M: not much. I just don’t think marriage is for me. But I’d like to preserve my option to have children.
J: okay. I’m gonna leave my eggs right where they are. And we’re gonna talk about something else.
M: like what?
J: you and Dr Pike. What a cute couple you’d make.
M: mm, very funny. … very funny.
J: bet he’s a luau kind of guy.
(both fake gag, then laugh)
Leave it to Jane to have the first gripe being that she had to wear the pink shoes. I’m sure now that even with Maura’s leather and latex fetishes coming to light recently, I’m guessing the duo won’t be using handcuffs any time soon, unless it’s official “police” business. At least Angela isn’t there to ruin a great Rizzles moment. BTW – luaus aren’t that exciting. I was kind of bored during the Hawaiian luau I was at a few years ago.
6. Checking out some other scenes:
** It’s Doctor vs Doctor vs Doctor
M: a single bullet penetrated the left ventricle.
DrBRH: that size whole says it’s in the .38 caliber family
DrP: oh, bullets have families in Texas, do they? It was obviously a .45. female victim also died from a .45.
DrBRH: I’m thinking we’ve got a different horse galloping here.
DrP: oh really? A Morab? A mustang?
DrBRH: well, you’re saying the bullet that made that hole is a draft horse and I’m saying it’s more like a Shetland pony.
DrPopov: this is waste of time.
M: I’m sorry?
DrPopov: It’s classic murder-suicide.
M: but both victims died instantly and the gun wasn’t recovered.
DrPopov: It’s so obvious. Kindergartner would know. Husband shoots wife, then shoots his chest, just has enough time to toss the gun out the window. It’s like chicken whose head cut off.
M: Dr Popov, human beings don’t move once the cerebral cortex has been se…
DrBRH: I think you’re wasting your breath. This guy don’t know his butt from a hole in the ground.
DrP: I’d like to take this opportunity to unveil the most significant new development in the forensic world. (starts up his machine) The Particle-Vac.
M: Dr Pike, please turn that thing off
DrP: it’s capable of fully adjustable suction up to 50 kilopasals. Step aside please.
M: please turn that thing off. We are here to advance each other’s knowledge of gunshot wounds. (the machine gets caught on Maura)
DrP: whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. (the machine blows up) now look what you’ve done. I’m gonna have to bill you for that.
Can I just shake my head & roll my eyes on this one? Let’s all just give one big Jane Rizzoli, “REALLY???” snark. Seriously, why does this show need to show any doctor who isn’t Maura or detective that isn’t Jane as highly incompetent? I said it earlier. They’ve really stooped to low levels in turning Dr Pike into a cartoonish buffoon, when they could have brought him along as a somewhat incompetent colleague who at least tries to act like a professional. This is just totally ridiculous. The humor on this show is usually only cute & funny if it’s Jane or Maura doing it (and usually when they’re together.) And I haven’t even started on the drunk Russian doctor. Is this REALLY what it’s come down to? Good grief.
** the detectives do their ‘detecting’
J: the crime lab is working on that piece of latex. Maybe we’ll get lucky and get a partial print.
F: Dr Eve had a huge web presence. She just released her newest book.
J: “no need to breed”
F: here she is promoting the book. (plays the video: “you can choose not to be a mother. You do not have to breed.”)
K: Judge Allen denied our request for patient files and phone records. He won’t even allow us to get a list of names.
J: now what are we gonna do?
K: we’ll go see Allen in his chambers.
F: okay, Dr Eve had a book signing at the Literate Mind bookstore a few hours before she was murdered.
J: that’s interesting.
F: so is this. Dr Eve had a lot of haters. Here’s a blogger with a big following, Valerie Miller. “WAAK” - “Wives are about kids.” *
J: looks like she’s aiming a rifle at our victim.
K: “this fiend hates your child.” This from a mother of nine?
F: she’s sure plugged into social media, for someone who home schools all those kids. Check out her timeline.
K: translation please?
J: oh, she leads such a fascinating life, she wants everyone to know what she’s doing at all times.
K: where was Mrs WAAK yesterday.
F: the Literate Mind bookstore. Where Dr Eve had the book signing.
K: where was she last night?
F: don’t know. She stopped checking in.
J: well, I don’t think Mrs WAAK was getting a signed copy of “no need to breed.”
LOL WAAK. That makes me think back to P.U.K.E. Where do they come up with this? Strangely enough, I love these little Jane/Frost/Korsak “detective” moments – even if it seems that Frost can come up with absolutely ANYTHING on the computer.
** Mama Rizz’s new ride
In front of PD, Frankie is helping his mom take groceries out of the trunk of her new car.
F: don’t you feel funny driving this?
A: why would I feel funny? It’s the nicest car I ever had. Come on. Let’s get these groceries inside and I’ll take you for a spin.
F: oh, I-I can’t right now.
A: oh
F: they just gave it to you?
A: I have to do a little promotion. (we see her car is decorated with Can’O Espresso advertising, plus a big roller on top with the logo)
Angela gets in the car & puts on her earpiece.
A: it’s voice activated. (on loud speaker) Can’O Espresso added the loudspeaker. Can you hear me?
F: uh, yeah, ma.
A: come see. It has voice activated bing search capabilities.
F: cool
A: Frankie, you look so handsome in your uniform.
F: oh my god, ma. Stop.
A: what, am I embarrassing you?
Poor Frankie. Well, at least it’s Frankie being embarrassed this time & not Jane. Now I really want to see Jane’s reaction when she sees he mother’s new car. Jane would probably say that she’d rather her mother be driving the pimped-out car that Giovanni fixed up – the one with the red racing stripe down the middle. I think Maura would tell her that this car is “very nice.”
** the ditz who shall become family
Angela’s new car gets rear-ended in front of PD.
A: oh my god, somebody hit my car. My brand new, what the…
Lydia: I didn’t hit it very hard, did I? oh yeah, good it’s just a little dent.
A: a little dent? It’s a brand new car.
F: Ma, take the headset off.
L: uh, I. Shoot, I’m sorry. I’ll get it fixed.
A: oh, you bet you will. Don’t you look where you’re driving?
L: can I just give you cash? I mean…is…$30 enough?
A: are you kidding me? Frankie, tell me she’s kidding me.
Lydia drops her stuff & cries.
F: uh, hey. Let me help you with that. Ma.
A: what?
F: come on (points to Lydia’s pregnant belly)
A: oh. uh, how pregnant are you?
L: seven months.
A: all right, all right, don’t worry. we’ll call your husband.
L: finace. Ex.
A: oh
L: he dumped me.
A: I’m sorry to hear that.
F: uh, that’s a lot of unpaid parking tickets.
L: thank you. Well, that’s why I’m here. You’re gonna boot my car if I don’t sign up for a payment plan.
F: there isn’t really a payment plan.
L: then what am I going to do? I lost my job. My roommate kicked me out. I live in my car.
Frankie looks through her information & notices her name: Lydia Sparks. 1717 Tremont Street, Boston, MA.
Oh, if only Angela knew EXACTLY who that was, this scene would have been SO different. At least Frankie puts the pieces together after seeing her name. and as I said before, what is it with Frankie & Tommy’s ex’s both being ditzes? At least the guys Jane used to like (Steve Sander, Casey Jones, etc) were kind of cool. We won’t talk about Dickhead Dean, though.
** Frankie tells his sister about the new revelation.
(in the elevator)
J: oh my god, you’re sure? Lydia Lydia? Dad’s fiancé, Lydia?
F: yeah, I saw her name on the parking notices. Lydia Sparks.
J: and you’re sure she’s pregnant?
F: she’s out to here.
J: well, what do we do?
F: how the hell should I know?
J: well, should we call pop?
F: no, she says he dumped her.
J: do we just not know him, or is he having some deranged late midlife crisis?
F: Jane, she’s living out of her car. What if that’s our…?
J: our brother or sister? Oh my god.
I love these brother/sister conversations. These two are so alike, and seemingly so different from Tommy. It was funny how Jane asked whether they really knew their father or not anymore.
** back to Mrs WAAK and her “angelic” kids. Jane & Korsak look very uncomfortable.
J: isn’t there someone the children can stay with while we talk? Maybe an older sibling?
MW: my children are very well behaved.
J: yeah. Take a look at that. (shows her the web pic with the target on Dr Eve.) You didn’t like Dr Eve much, did you?
MW: not even a little bit.
K: That’s a pretty violent image.
MW: I thought it made my point in a very visceral way.
K: so did shooting her. That make your point too?
MW: she’s a despicable person. I don’t even want to share gender by calling her a woman, but I wouldn’t stoop to killing her. (one of the kids squeals) hey, finger out of your nose. (to Jane) do you have children, detective?
J: I do not.
MW: it figures.
J: how does it figure?
MW: our waist. Even you would have trouble finding a flattering bathing suit after nine children. Luckily, that’s the only downside.
J: is that why you shot Dr Eve, she didn’t have stretch marks?
MW: I’m very proud of my womb
K: oh please don’t show me your womb, Mrs Miller.
J: okay, where were you last night?
MW: with my children and 20 other mothers and their children at my “wives are about kids” meeting. It’s already on YouTube. Would you like to see?
I couldn’t help but LOL at Korsak glancing at Jane’s figure when Mrs WAAK talked about a flattering figure in a bathing suit. And then him getting all grossed out at the thought of seeing Mrs WAAK’s womb. Jane’s little touch to his arm for support was cute too. Those are the Jane/Korsak moments I love.
** Frost is good, really good
J: I thought there wasn’t any surveillance footing of the victims’ offices.
F: there isn’t, but I found a private security camera aimed at the building next to theirs. Thought I’d see if maybe the killer walked by.
J: and how would you if it was the killer.
F: probably wouldn’t. but, I did find this.
J: Smart, Frost. That’s a city car collecting footage of Boston.
F: yeah, and it drove by the Parker’s building at 5:56pm yesterday.
J: what? That’s right before E.A. had an appointment with Dr Rod.
F: check this out. … she’s headed right toward their building.
J: You think we have enough landmarks for facial recognition?
F: won’t know until we try. (runs the program. A woman comes up as 60%) okay, she’s pretty close. (a man comes up with 75%)
J: Frost, the man is closer.
F: oh my god. E.A. is Eugene Allen.
J: JUDGE Eugene Allen?
F: No wonder he wouldn’t sign the warrants.
J: yeah, because he’s a patient. Well, maybe he’s a killer too. (Frost gets up to leave) you want me to go with you?
F: no, no this one belongs to me & Korsak.
J: go get him.
You see? Frost can find anything and anyone with just a few computer clicks. See how easy that was? Oy. I do love that Frost tells her this one is for him & Korsak to handle. Don’t want those judges on Jane’s bad side, now, do we?
** Eugene/Eugenia
Secretary: You can’t go into his chambers. You can’t go in there.
E: How dare you enter my chambers? Why wasn’t the door locked?
Judge “Eugene” is almost in full drag, except for the hair.
F: you’re asking us?
E: well, stop staring and shut the damn door.
The secretary closes the door.
E: I believe I told you not to return until you had a stronger link between your crime and Dr Parker’s patients.
Frost shows him a picture of…Eugenia walking to the building.
F: that strong enough?
K: did you kill him because he knew your secret?
E: Dr Parker helped me. I’m finally enjoying my life, my work…because he encouraged me to be myself. Behind closed doors, I am Eugenia Allen.
F: okay, Eugenia, sign these warrants for Dr Eve and Dr Rod’s phone and patient records.
E: you think you can blackmail me?
K: you think you can block a homicide investigation to keep your personal life quiet?
F: need a pen,….uh, ma’am?
E: thank you.
I must say, the guy actually looks good in drag. I've seen Ray Wise in a few things, and he's always usually a hard ass. I like seeing his "softer/feminine" side in this one. He really does make a great drag queen. I love how Frost is sensitive to the judge’s preferences and calls her ma’am.
** Drunk Pike hitting on sober Maura.
DrP: (slurring) oh, it’s so nice to let my hair down and enjoy a few Long Island Iced Teas.
M: how many have you had, Dr Pike?
DrP: not more than four. Or is it five?
M: well, perhaps that’s enough.
DrP: you look stunning tonight, Dr Isles.
M: excuse me?
DrP: you’re like a wildcat, aren’t you? Lapping up that liquid with your delicate, pink tongue.
M: please stop.
DrP: I’ve been in love with you, okay, since the outdoor remains recovery course.
M: what?
DrP: but I’ve been desperately afraid. I lost everything with my quest to develop the perfect forensic vacuum. I invested everything in particle-vac, Maura. Everything. (hugs her)
M: okay. Stop. Stop.
Dr Popov intervenes
DrPo: hey. Lady says go away, Pike.
DrP: buzz off, Popov.
DrPo: you have as much chance with woman as dead Dr Parker. No. the corpse has better chance.
Dr Pike takes off his hatchet.
DrP: come on. You want a piece of me?
DrPo: okay. Put up ducks.
DrP: these are dukes, you moron.
Oy. *head desk* Is there any more that really need to be said for this scene?
** Jane & the shrink?
K: no tented arch on this one.
J: (sighs) this one either. How many patients did we get elimination prints from?
F: 110 out of a total of 203. Still got detectives out there trying to get the rest of them.
Frost types onto his computer.
F: what the hell? (Looks at Jane)
J: what is it?
F: nothing.
J: what? (gets up to look at his computer) that’s my phone number. I-… oh my god, you though I was one of Dr Parker’s patients?
K: nothing to be ashamed of. I think you’ve hidden your delusional disorders rather well, detective.
Frost laughs.
F: he called you three times last week.
J: I wonder why.
So, does that mean she didn’t get those calls? Wouldn’t she have answered him? Maybe since psycho guy keeps sending her texts, he’s somehow intercepted those calls? I loved Korsak’s comment about her hiding her “delusional disorders well.” That’s the Jane/Vince I love.
** she doesn’t suspect a thing
J: Hey, Dominick. Uh, do you know how long you’re gonna be? This is my car, right here.
D: Oh. Oh, I’m so sorry.
J: that’s okay.
D: um…ugh. (drops one of the bags) can you just put that back on the rack?
J: yes.
D: I’ll move the truck.
J: okay, thank you.
D: hey, you know what? Why don’t you grab a bag of ciobatta. It’s still warm. It’s on the last rack.
J: okay, thank you.
D: sure.
Dominick rushes to the driver’s seat & starts the vehicle.
J: (picks up a bag) this one?
D: yeah.
J: thank you so much. (turns to walk out the back.) Thank you. (Dominick comes up behind her and injects her in the neck) OW.
Jane falls to the floor. Dominick closes the truck doors.
So seemingly sweet & unsuspecting. Jane, why do you always find yourself in these situations? This reminded me of her being abducted by Hoyt in the pilot episode. However, she can’t get out of this one by herself, it seems. As I mentioned before, with the bead, David Deluise really looks like his dad here.
** family meeting at the Robber, minus one.
M: I thought this would help ease tensions in the family meeting.
F: what is it?
M: it’s a talking stick. They’ve been used for centuries by Native Americans.
F: hmm
Angela walks in.
A: hey. What’s going on? Where’s Jane, she said we were having a family meeting.
M: she will be here any minute.
F: sit down, Ma. Take the talking stick.
A: I don’t want the talking stick. I want to know what this is about.
M: well, uh, the talking stick has been used by many cultures to designate who has the right to speak.
A: which means the both of you have something awful to tell me. (Maura gives Frankie the stick) Is this about Tommy? (Frankie gives Maura the stick back, she won’t take it. Angela grabs it.)
A: give me that stick. Because I have a feeling that I’m going to have to use this stick to knock some sense into your brother.
Yep. Angela is definitely Jane’s mother. LOL Poor Frankie & Maura are helpless without Jane to smoothen things over. That talking stick reminds me of the movie, “Yours, Mine & Ours” with Rene Russo, Dennis Quaid & Danielle Panabaker. That was the first time I’d actually heard of a ‘talking stick.’
** where’s Jane?
(outside PD)
K: her car’s still here.
M: she’s not answering her phone.
Fro: she left over an hour ago to meet you guys.
A: she did? Oh my god, where is she?
Fra: Ma, come on. I’m gonna get you home.
Fro: I’m gonna try & track the GPS on her phone. Maybe get a location.
Fra: I’ll be back. Find her, okay?
(back inside PD, Frost is on the computer)
Fro: no signal on her phone. Can’t track it.
K: come on, think. We’re in the middle of this double-homicide case.
Fra: we don’t know if it’s related.
Fro: we know Dr Parker called Jane.
Fra: The dead guy? Why’d he call her?
Fro: Don’t know.
M: wait, wait, he treated patients with severe delusional disorders. It’d be his ethical obligation to call and to warn her if he was treating someone who was a danger to her.
K: put up the patient list, Frost.
M: and she was getting strange text messages.
Fro: someone on this list knows something.
Fra: oh, this could take all night. We can’t sit in here & go through lists.
M: okay, what about the partial print from the casing.
Fro: Korsak, what if we tried to put the two partial prints together?
K: the one from the glove and the shell casing? It’s a long shot.
Frost tries to match them.
K: we need a few more points. … rotate it to the left just a bit. … that might work, run it.
The computer comes up with Dominick Bianchi.
M: that’s the man who delivers bread to the café.
K: Dominick Bianchi. Served eight years for stalking and maiming.
Fra: he was Parker’s patient.
K: you got an address?
Fro: it’s just the bakery.
K: oh hell.
Maura gets on the computer.
M: Dominick has erotomaniac delusional disorder.
K: doesn’t sound good.
M: it’s a serious erotopsychiatric disorder. He believes a stranger, most likely someone of a higher status, is in love with him.
Fra: so, he thinks Jane is in love with him?
Awww I love this. Usually, it’s Jane saving everyone else…including herself. Now, the rest of them finally get to save her. I still don’t understand if Jane actually received the calls from the doctor, ignored them, or they were intercepted.
** Jane slowly wakes to a strange predicament.
D: hey, you missed your Brazilian wax.
J: you were the one who was texting me?
D: of course, I did, honey. You’re my wife.
J: you took off my clothes?
D: oh, yeah. Do you like your new outfit?
J: (nods) yes.
D: yeah.
J: mm-hmm. I love pink and ruffles and kitten heels
D: oh, good. Oh, you look so beautiful.
J: thank you. Dominick, um, my wrists really hurt. Is there any way that we could loosen these up just a little bit?
D: Oh, you are sly. NO. I’m gonna go out and get dinner for us. Okay?
He kisses her, then leaves & locks the door. Jane tries unsuccessfully to pull on her cuffs & ties.
First of all, the kiss? -- Ewwwww. Secondly, the pink heels? Double Ewwwww. David Deluise, you are somehow really good at being slimy & icky, and just….Ewwwww.
** the search continues
K: give me something.
Fro: checking his financials. Okay, wait. He bought a bunch of computer equipment recently. Looks like he set up a webcam. Maybe I can use an NMap to run a port scan.
Fra: What, you think you can track him through the bakery website?
That doesn’t work. Frost tries again.
Fro: trying a telnet port. … yes. I’m in. He’s sending this feed to his bakery so he can watch her 24/7. (brings up the live feed of Jane bound to the bed)
M: oh god, Jane. … that’s her apartment.
Frankie runs out the door with Frost behind him. Maura turns to go, but Korsak stops her.
K: no, stay here. (he leaves)
First of all, did no one really think to check Jane’s apartment to begin with? Secondly, yep, Frost can definitely do magic with that computer of his. See, Maura – that’s one plus for google. LOL Thirdly, one of the detectives has been kidnapped. WHERE IN THE HELL is Lt Cavanaugh? I really, really miss him. He should be leading this investigation.
** would have been too easy
Frankie, Frost & Korsak rush into the apartment. Maura is still watching Jane on the live feed.
M: Sgt Korsak, I don’t see Dominick.
They burst into the bedroom, but she’s not there.
Fra: dammit, she’s not here.
Like I said, would have been way too easy.
** playing his game
Dominick comes back in the room.
D: I couldn’t see everything in your bedroom, so I figured as long as I got it close… are the sheets okay?
J: yeah, they’re fine. I don’t remember having you over.
D: you know the building across the street? If you go up the fire escape, you can see in your window, (chuckles) when you leave the shades open.
J: right.
(looks at the fake pictures on the wall)
D: you remember Hawaii?
J: Dominick, you know we never went to Hawaii.
D: YES WE DID. (chuckles) we had our honeymoon there. We kayaked. You surfed for the first time. We went to that all-you-can-eat luau with the pig, remember?
J: (nods) yeah, yeah, I remember now.
D: liar. Don’t play me. We didn’t go to a luau. Don’t be like Dr Parker.
J: did you tell Dr Parker about me?
D: (scoffs) yeah. I’m allowed to talk about my wife with my therapist.
J: of course you are.
D: (grabs her face) DAMN RIGHT. (gently) oh baby, I’m sorry. Oh baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
J: (whispers) I’m sorry. I deserved that. I’m sorry. (he nuzzles he neck)
Creeeeeeepy. Psycho. Jekyll/Hyde. Take your pick. Any (or all) of the above.
** Maura & the gang are still watching
Dominick is still nuzzling Jane. The detectives & Maura are all back at PD
M: oh god.
Fra: what is she doing?
M: she has to try to make him stay in the fantasy.
Fra: what if he comes out of it?
Korsak slowly shakes his head.
M: we have to find her.
Fro: he’s live streaming, but he’s smart. He’s hiding the IP address. I can’t find it.
Fra: oh my god.
Come on, Frost. We know you’re good. Save the day, buddy. Jane would do it for you, you know. I like how Jane knows what she needs to do in this situation. As Maura said, “she has to try to make him stay in the fantasy.” Obviously, Jane knows that. See, it’s not just “street smarts” that make Jane as Badass as she is. She knows a little “book learning” too.
** the past is brought to light.
Jane notices the camera on the light.
M: Jane.
K: she sees it.
J: I-I love computers, Dominick. Just like you.
D: I couldn’t use one for a long time, but I-I read a lot about them at Bridgewater State. Did you miss me?
J: yes, I did.
D: no, you didn’t. (scoffs) I wasn’t there because of you. I was there because of Emily.
M: (to the detectives) what happened to Emily?
D: I will always love her.
Fro: he threw acid in her face
Fra: Oh my god.
Maura whimpers.
D: I read about you in the paper. I liked you when you were little & you used to come into my parents’ bakery. You knew that you’d grow up to marry me, didn’t you?
J: oh yeah. Wouldn’t it be fun if we put ourselves on tv as Mr & Mrs Bianchi?
D: that’s only for me. No one else can watch you.
J: where do you watch me?
D: are you ready for dinner?
Jane nods. Dominick leaves & locks the door.
Acid in her face? Ouch. That’s original, I guess. So, it seems that the cliché is true for Jane – your past will come back to haunt you. It’s good (or is it bad?) to know that it is actually someone from her past, and not just a total stranger being a wacko.
** Jane has faith in her gang
J: (looks at the camera) Frost. (voice breaking) If you’re as good as I know you are, you can see me right now. Please tell me you can see me. …Frost, find me. … please. … I’m praying that somebody can hear me.
Fra: just tell us where you are, Janie. Come on. Tell us where you are.
J: please let somebody hear me. Please. … okay, uh, I hear, um, airplanes landing. Must be close to the airport. Less than…half a mile. And…and I hear a bell. … a warning bell.
M: the Chelsea street drawbridge.
J: Chelsea Street drawbridge. …and …and I smell fish.
K: the processing plant.
Fra: no, that’s not enough. There are hundreds of buildings in that area.
M: Frost, zoom in on the radiator and the window frame. … that’s a cast-iron radiator manufactured in 1890, and a wooden window frame from the same era.
K: so we’re looking for something built in the late 1800s, that’s still standing.
Fra: by the processing plant? They’ve all been torn down. Maybe we’re not even close.
J: please, Frost, please. Come find me.
Fro: I got a building on Falcon Street, built in 1891. (shows a pic)
K: that’s it. Let’s go.
Awwww I love the faith Jane puts in Frost. She knows he’s really, really good at the techno stuff. That’s why he’s her partner. It’s also great to see Frost just quietly doing his thing, even under this pressure that Jane has put on him by directing her pleas at him specifically. He just quietly nods his head at her plea to find her. Usually, (especially with Hoyt, and with the evil yoga guy) it’s Korsak to the rescue. This time, it’s the tech wizard. I also like how Jane & Maura both came up with the drawbridge at the same time. I’m just glad Angela isn’t in the room to watch this.
** in the nick of time.
Rescue is on its way, but Maura is still watching the live feed
D: Come on, just eat.
J: no, thank you. I would rather feed myself.
D: FINE. Starve then. I heard you talking. I know you were talking to someone.
J: Dominick, I was talking to myself.
M: don’t hurt her.
D: I’m gonna have to make sure that you never look at anyone or talk to anyone… EVER AGAIN.
(the cavalry has arrived, as Frost kicks open the door. Korsak & Frankie behind him)
F/K/F: Police. Police. Don’t move, you son of a bitch.
Fro: Jane, you okay?
J: yeah, I’m okay. Frankie, get me out of here. please
Fra: (undoes her cuffs) I got you. It’s okay.
Maura’s sobbing at PD as she watches them uncuff Jane.
J: I’m okay. I’m okay.
Awww looks like Frost is still the one kicking down the doors. I thought that job would have been pushed onto Frankie now, but I guess since Frost is the one Jane was pleading to, it needed to be him as the first one she saw through the door. Maura sobbing and watching it all unfold was so heartbreaking. This time, I DO wish that Angela was there. They could have been there to hug each other.
A few more caps:
Guest list:
David DeLuise (Dominick Bianchi)
Alexandra Holden (Lydia Sparks)
Elya Baskin (Dr. Vladmir Papov)
Ed Begley Jr. (Dr. T. Pike)
CraigMorgan (Dr. Billy May Higgins)
Elizabeth Sampson (Valerie Miller)
Lucy Butler (Dr. Eve Parker)
Patrick O’Connor (Dr. Rod Parker)
Ray Wise (Judge Eugene Allen)
June Christopher (Judge’s Assistant)
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