Rizzoli and Isles 3x02 Dirty Little Secret review

I think the more appropriate title for this episode should have been “The Fanfic Lover’s Paradise”.
It’s interesting how this show really changes when it isn’t heavy on the Jane/Maura scenes. In this episode, it almost became comical. I guess it won’t be a surprise to note that the episode wasn’t written by Janet Tamaro. Kiersten Van Horne & Steve Lichtman are the credited writers.

- Jane with the toilet paper hanging from the back of her pants & no one telling her about it.
- Jane & Korsak posing as lovers & going undercover doing yoga.
- Frost & Tommy having a puke fest at a crime scene.
- turning Frank Rizzoli Sr into an unfeeling, uncaring single guy about to marry a woman younger than all of his kids, not to mention a woman who had already been intimate with the youngest of the Rizzoli siblings. Don’t forget about the eye-raising part about him wanting to annul a marriage of about forty years, which included three children.
- Frost, Korsak & Angela doing an ‘intervention’ to get the two ladies back together.

In all, it felt quite cartoonish.

And strangely enough, for the most part, I loved it.

Let’s look at some of the main points in greater detail:

** in her kitchen, Jane is cooking dinner for her and her two brothers –who are sitting on the couch watching a recorded ballgame. She grabs the hot-handled skillet and burns her hand, thus dropping the skillet with the burgers onto the floor. Jo Friday grabs one of the burgers. Frankie & Tommy are too immersed in the game to pay any attention to what’s going on. Frankie notices Jo Friday with the burger.
F: hey, Jo. Off, Jo Friday. Jane, what are you doing?
T: hey, why did you give the dog a burger?
J: you want food, go hunt & gather it, all right?
(a knock on Jane’s door)
J: okay, if that’s a pizza, I’m sorry for anything I’ve ever done, especially Tommy, when I locked you out of the house & pretended I didn’t know who you were.
F: did she really do that?
T: still crying over it.
(Jane opens the door to see her father, Frank Sr standing there)
J:… daddy.
Pops: So, are you gonna invite your old man in, or what?



See, this is what happens when Maura’s not around and I assume Mama R is working at the Café. Jane has to take over mama bear duties. It’s also fun to hear a few of the hijinks that Jane & her brothers did while growing up.


** we’re back in the tunnels where we saw the woman from the opening scene get strangled to death. Maura estimates the body had been there for two days. Frost is trying to call Jane, but getting no answer.
F: She’s still not picking up
K: she does have a personal day, but still (he looks over towards Maura who is examining the body) it’s the first case they’re working together since the shooting.
On his Ipad, Frost shows Korsak an article with a picture of Jane & Maura from the scene of the shooting.
F: (reads the headline) “Professional Frenemies? Cop shoots Medical Examiner’s mob father”.
K: Sheesh, that’s bad.
F: Jane didn’t have a choice. Paddy would have pulled the trigger on us.
K: you & I know that. But how would you feel if I shot your father?
F: my father’s not a mobster. (notices Korsak sweating heavily) You having a hot flash?
K: your cologne not working for you today?



Ouch. Guess the press really got a hold of that tidbit of information & ran with it like the vultures usually do. I love the Frost/Korsak moments, especially when they’re talking about Jane and Maura. It’s kind of a cross between being gossiping school girls and big brothers watching their sisters’ backs.

** they walk back over to where Maura is crouched beside the body.
M: the medical community is debating if men go through menopause. You could be experiencing a decrease in testosterone.
K: I’ve got plenty of testosterone. (Frost chuckles) how about you, Frost? (Korsak inhales deeply) Mmm-Mmm. Love the smell of deco in the morning. Maggots like it too.
Maura chuckles.
M: steam from the pipes has accelerated decomposition. You know, few students know about these old tunnels. 2 ¼ miles of them run beneath the University. They were constructed to house steam pipes… (Maura turns the other way to look down the tunnels & continues speaking, while Korsak & Frost walk away.


Oy. I guess Jane is the only one who puts up with Maura’s “google-speak” and doesn’t walk away. And you know, Maura’s google-mouth isn’t as cute unless Jane’s there to hear it and give her various facial expressions. I guess Frost & Korsak are used walking away and letting Jane continue to listen to it.



** as Korsak & Frost turn away, their conversation returns to the Jane & Maura feud.
K: they should just apologize for whatever they said to each other in that cat fight.
F: “Cat fight?” Women hate that expression.
K: they do? (Frost nods) Damn. So many new rules.



As I said previously, I love it when Frost & Korsak talk about the ladies. Nice of Frost to clue Korsak in on the “cat fight” rule. LOL How many of you actually pictured Jane standing next to them in that scene saying, “Cat fight? Did you REALLY say that, Vince?”


** Back at Jane’s apartment, it seems that the guys are oblivious to Jane’s turmoil. Frankie, Pops and Tommy are all sitting on her couch watching the game.
P: hey Janie, you got any more chips? You believe the contract they gave this guy, huh?
T: calls himself a pitcher, can’t even throw the speed limit.
P: good one, Tommy.
Jane is pissed & turns off the tv.
P: oh, what are you doing?
J: Pilgrims lost 8-7. You disappear for a year, and then you show up to…bro out on a day-old dvr’d ballgame?
Pops gets up and hands each of the kids an envelope.
P: I came here to give you this, okay?
Jane reads the invitation
J: Once upon a time, two wonderful people fell in love?
P: You’re gonna love Lydia, she’s a dynamite lady.
Tommy looks uneasy. Frankie looks at him.
F: Tommy, something you want to say?
P: leave your brother alone.
J: Tommy?
T: no, I mean… I
P: look, look. We see each other when I’m in town, alright?
F: in town?
P: you know, Tommy’s the only one who never, who never judged me.
J: well Tommy’s always been so flexible about what’s right & wrong.
P: hey, hey, hey. I don’t want you bullying your baby brother.
J: that doesn’t work anymore, Pop. Talk, Tommy.
T: I introduced him…to Lydia.
P: wait ‘til you meet her.
J: you’re divorced, so how do you plan on having this big Catholic wedding?
F: yeah, the church kind of frowns on that.
P: just some paperwork I’ve gotta fill out.
F: what kind of paperwork?
J: oh my G… you’re gonna try to get an annulment, aren’t you?
P: Janie, it’s a piece of paper. It means nothing.
T: does Ma know she didn’t mean to have kids?
P: look, I have no desire to hurt your mother, alright?
J: she doesn’t know, does she? You haven’t even had the guts to tell her. … so, I guess that makes us all bastards.




Ouch. I love the scenes with all three of the Rizzoli kids. Did they really have to make Pop Rizzoli such a bastard? Really? He was so lovable in the first season. And now we’ve all really come to love Angela and her interaction with everyone, so I guess they had to bring back Pops and make him an asshole, so he can move on and out of the picture for good, probably. I wonder if that means we’ll get a Angela/Vince story line somewhere soon down the road. That’s one of the great parts of the Tess Gerritsen books – the Vince/Angela subplots.

Getting back to that scene for a moment, it’s great to see Jane come off as the responsible adult here. Frankie kind of right behind her, and Tommy still with a bit of a secret to let out of the bag yet. It’s also kind of nice to have these bigger scenes in Jane’s apartment, but it makes me miss Maura’s house and the ‘family’ gatherings all the more.


** Jane finally shows up at the scene and is greeted by Frost.
F: hey, where’ve you been?
J: my father remembered he had a family and popped by.
F: wow. My dad’s a dick too.
J: you know, I’m busy feeling sorry for myself, now I’ve gotta feel sorry for you too? (she smirks)
F: this will cheer you up. We’ve got a body – Rachel Lawson, grad student in earth & planetary sciences.
J: I feel sorry for her too. Where’s the body?
F: it’s down there.
J: how long’s she been there?
F: Looked like a couple days, but you could ask…
J: thanks Frost, I’ll ask Dr Isles.


It seems like everyone’s on pins & needles when referring to the other’s LLBFF. I loved Frost’s comment about his dad being a dick. It seems that the partners have even more in common now.


** after discussing more of the case details, they finally arrive at the body and where Maura is talking to Korsak.
M: hello…Detective Rizzoli.
J: hello Dr Isles. (kneels at the body) well, I don’t see any drag marks.
M: no, lividity confirms that she was killed here. She’s passed through rigor.
J: so she’s been dead at least 36 hours. She’s in workout clothes, what was she doing down here?
M: (whispers loudly) she was strangled.
J: thank you, doctor, I can see that. (Korsak & Frost look at each other) looks like the weapon was a garrote.
M: (uses the French pronunciation) garrote.
J: gee, I would love the history lesson on (mocking French accent) garrote, wouldn’t you, Frost? (he rolls his eyes & head)
M: well, it was most popular in the 17th century when it was used as a means of silent assassination (Jane rolls her eyes) by the Thuggee cult in India.
J: well, let’s be on the lookout for the Thuggees.
F: what are those red patches?
M: urticaria.
J: urticaria?
M: oh, uh, maybe you’ll know that this means. The yucky red stuff is a rash.
K: uh, thank you for clearing that up.
F: yea, that was a good explanation.
J: let’s go.
Maura grabs a hold of Vince’s arm
M: you stay.
He nods.




Ouch. Or should I say, “MEOOOOWWWW”. Dr Isles can be quite pissy when she’s not had enough fun time with her LLBFF, it seems. Poor Frost & Korsak, stuck in the middle of the cat fight. Yes, Jane, I’m calling this one a cat fight, cuz your BFF is really starting hiss & show her claws. Where the heck is Mama R when you need her for an immediate intervention.


** Jane & Frost are at Rachel’s place and talking to her roommate.
Roomie: should I be worried? In horror movies, they always get the roommate next.
F: the campus is on high alert and there are campus police outside your apartment. You’ll be safe.

Wow, they’re really going for comic relief in this episode, aren’t they? That was kind of an eye-rolling moment.


** Jane & Frost continue to Rachel’s room.
J: and here I thought I missed out on the whole “roommate bonding” thing. (looks in the closet) Oh, what a relief – “cruelty free cotton”. I hate when people are mean to cotton, and vegan shoes. Can you say “vugly”?
F: says the woman who’s been wearing the same boots for the past two years.
J: oh, snap.
F: okay, Rachel had a ‘skinny’ section and a ‘fat’ section.
J: how do you know about skinny/fat clothes?
F: I’ve tried on all sizes.
J: oh, snap again. (picks up a box) alright, what do we got here? Loofah, aloe vera toothpaste… a crystal
F: that’s a deodorant
J: (drops it back in the box) how do you know?
F: told you…all sizes. (he smirks)
J: (looks into the box) oh, hello. (pulls out a baggie with white powder in it) here’s a sure way to keep the weight off. Cocaine.




Poor Frost. They really seem to be bringing out gayness in this one, don’t they – even without our two ladies together. They’re just putting it on our friend, Barry. And seriously, don’t they usually take a quick taste of the powder before they confirm it’s cocaine? Guess Jane hasn’t learned that yet.


** Jane & Korsak are interviewing Rachel’s parents. It turns out that the parents have just recently separated, and that Rachel had a sister who had died when Rachel was seven years old. Because of it, Rachel would go down in the basement and sit for hours in the dark. Jane gives them wonderful words of support after looking at a photo of Rachel with her parents at her graduation.
J: this may not be my place, but this beautiful girl loved you both very much. Honor her by being kind to each other.

Awwww. Jane’s helping others and giving them comfort even though her LLBFF isn’t around to help her with her disheartening parental issues. Raise your hand if you did a double & triple take to make sure that really wasn’t Glenn Close playing the mom.


** Jane walks out of the elevator at PD and sees Frankie still working.
J: hey, you just did a midnight, what, did you pull another shift?
F: all this stuff with Pop, I’d figured I’d at least make some overtime. You talk to Maura yet?
J: Frankie, I don’t think we’re ever gonna be friends again, we just keep making it worse.
They notice Angela in the café, serving Lt Cavanaugh.
J: Dad hasn’t told her?
F: no. I ran a check on her. On Lydia.
J: Frankie, you can’t be doing that. They watch stuff like that, alright? What did you find out?
F: you don’t want to hear it.
J: No, I don’t. Tell me everything.
F: She’s 28 years old.
J: she’s younger than us.

LOL well, we know that Tommy introduced her to their dad. What did they expect? I love how Jane seems to be watching over her brother, noticing that he’s doing extra duty. With this whole fight with Maura, and now her dad being an ass, it seems that Jane is concentrating on the other main people in her life. Thank goodness Dickhead Dean is out of the picture for a while.


** Lt Cavanaugh interrupts Jane’s convo with Frankie.
C: Hey Rizzoli, you got a minute?
J: yes sir.
C: hey Frankie.
F: hey Lieutenant
Frankie leaves
C: how are we doing with that murdered BCU girl? I’m getting a lot of heat from the brass. Parents are going nuts over there.
Jane notices her father walking in and going into the café.
J: uh…yes…uh I haven’t actually…(Frank & Angela are heard arguing in the background) spoken to Mau…Dr Isles, and (she watches her mother read the annulment papers Frank handed her) …
C: (he notices her distraction and looks towards her parents in the other room) are you okay, Rizzoli? Is everything all right?
Frank: sign this piece of paper right now. Just do me that favor. Okay?
Jane runs into the café
Angela: Sure. Sure, I’ll sign it.
F: good.
A: over your dead body. All these years I had to put up with your snoring…
F: my snoring? What about your creams and your…and your flossing. In the bed, you flossed.
A: that’s right.
F: right.
A: in our marriage bed, where we made three children
J: Ma, come on.
F: that’s right, and you still treat them like kids. Okay, move on, Angela.
C: Frankd, come on, this isn’t the time or place. Let’s take it outside.
F: this is not your business. I’m talking to my wife.
A: your ex-wife.
F: thank God.
A: I will not dishonor our children. I won’t do it.
Angela goes back into the kitchen
F: Angela.
Jane is stunned. She walks to the kitchen door, and turns back to her father.
J: I idolized you, you know that?
F: Janie
J: No, no. I don’t want to hear it. You need to go, Pop.
Jane goes through the kitchen door.




Another “ouch” moment. Poor Janie. It sucks to have that moment where you realize your father isn’t the greatest person on earth that you used to think he was for all those years. It’s tough when that pedestal collapses and the fairy tale comes crashing down. This scene is another one of those moments where you realize how much more they’re utilizing Lt Cavanaugh, after upping Brian Goodman into the main credits. I love it. In just these first two episodes of the season, he’s brought a nice extra bit of testosterone more into the mix. I really like the guy. At least they’re utilizing a familiar face instead of bringing in someone new. Now, if they’d only bring back Detective Crowe. One of these days, maybe.


** Tommy (in a suit? Wow) is in Maura’s office, looking at her stuff as she walks in..
M: Tommy?
T: hey Maura, how are you doing? (they hug)
M: how’d you get down here?
T: oh, I got my ways.
M: Tommy, this area is secure
T: Yeah, I’m on the job. Murphy’s Funeral Home needed more pick-up guys. Guess your people are too busy with murders, so they hired me to pick up the ones that just croak.
M: well, congratulations.
T: so, listen, I, um…I kind of need some advice.
M: from me? Sure, shoot.
T: well, you know my dad’s back.
M: I heard about what happened at the café.
T: Jane told you?
M: Uh, no. No, Jane & I are…not so, um…close as…as we used to be.
T: well, you know my dad’s getting remarried, right? (Maura looks a bit shocked) Yeah, he told us today.
M: No wonder Jane was so off.
T: well, I mean, it’s kind of a good thing that you & Jane aren’t talking.
M: oh, no, it’s not. It’s awful.
T: well, I just mean, you know, now that you’re not talking, maybe we could…
M: *chuckles* Tommy.
T: What? A guy’s gotta dream, right?
M: advice. You said you needed advice?
T: Right. I’m gonna tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone.
M: I’m a vault.
T: I, um…I kind of…know… my dad’s fiancée.
M: “know”, as in the biblical sense?
T: yeah, that sense. I mean, I only “knew” her one time, but that’s just still wrong, right? I mean, do you think I should tell my dad?



Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. Such a lovable screwup. Does Tommy really think that he’d have a chance with Maura even if Jane wasn’t in the picture. Really? All Maura needed to say was the same line she gave to Jane a few episodes ago. She should have just said, “Tommy, I like you a lot, but I love Jane.” That’s all you had to do, Maura. Come on. You missed the perfect chance. Did Maura really just steal Jane’s “I’m a vault” line? Really? How cute. It seems that even with the ladies at odds, Maura still remembers things about her LLBFF. She looked almost heartbroken when she realized why Jane seemed “off” earlier. She would realize that Jane could probably use a good hug right about now with all this stuff going on with her family.


** In autopsy, Maura is starting her recorder and giving her autopsy findings as Jane comes in, followed by Maura’s assistant with results.
M: lower extremities are muscularized, no evidence of trauma.
S: results are in on the white powder
J: what, from the victim’s apartment? Was it cocaine?
M: (looks at the results and addresses Susie) negative for cocaine
J: (addresses Susie as well) well, what was it? Heroin? Crystal Meth? Ketamine?
M: (looks at Susie) sodium bicarbonate.
J: (looks at Susie) tricky. Baking soda. Thank you, Susie.
S: uh, you’re welcome.
M: Nick work, Senior Criminalist Chang.
Susie leaves with a smile.
J: Nice work, Chief Medical Examiner Maura.
M: well that explains why Rachel had white powder in her shower caddy.
J: “Caddy”?
M: (speaking into the recorder again) liver mortis is indiscernable.
J: okay, I’m sorry. Please explain to me why she had baking soda in her caddy.
M: you were just being nice because you want information. She used it to wash her hair. It’s less toxic to the environment than shampoo.
J: well, that’s commitment. She’s really fit, yeah?
M: she’s had anterior dislocations to both her left & right humerus bones.
J: I’d love to know why that’s relevant. It’s too bad you don’t guess.
M: well, you’re in luck. It’s National Guessing Day.
J: are you celebrating?
M: I am. She has these injuries because of repeated chaturanga dandasana to urdhva mukkha svanasana.
J: I know what that is – yoga. Are you breaking out in hives from the guessing?
M: not yet. And her rash is the result of “defatting,” the chemical dissolution dermal lipids.
J: what ‘s that in “yucky rash” lingo?
M: she was submerged in icky stuff.
J: oh, submerged. Great. So the vegan girl is bathing in chemicals…great.
Maura notices Jane with a piece of toilet paper stuck to the back of her pants.
M: uh, Jane.
J: What? I thought we were done.
M: okay.




I loved Maura's smirk at the end. Poor Jane. Even your prim & proper LLBFF will let something like that go to make your embarrassment even more pronounced. I remember that they were going to get Maura’s lab assistant into the mix a little bit more as well. This was a cute way to do it. Reminds me of the episode in season 1 (“money for nothing”) where Korsak was the intermediary in the morgue when the two were talking to him with messages for each other, and Jane was trying to bribe Maura with the chocolate with gold flecks in it. This was almost a ‘normal’ Jane/Maura scene except for Maura being a bit snippish.


** Jane goes up to homicide where Frost & Korsak are reviewing the evidence.
J: Rachel was not snorting coke.
K: what was she doing with it?
J: washing her hair.
F: that’s expensive shampoo. You…(he & Korsak notice the toilet paper) Jane –
J: it was baking soda, all right, Frost? *sighs* so why the tunnel (Frost & Korsak see others looking at Jane’s toilet paper & they come closer together to block their view) who was in there, and…and why did they kill her?
K: uh, Jane, you should, uh…
J: did you check her financials?
F: she owed BDU 27 grand, which…which is weird because… it was all covered with student loans and grants.
J: so what’d she do with all that money?
K: I’ll get a subpoena for her bank records.
J: we’ve gotta figure out what this is (points to a picture on the glass board)
Frankie walks in.
F: oh, nice TP tail.
J: (she turns) what?
F: Mhm.
Jane turns to Frost & Korsak
J: why didn’t you tell me?
K: tell you what?
Frost: we didn’t even notice.
Frankie: yeah, Right. They can see it from across the street.
J: (runs out) god, can this day get any worse?
Frost: sorry.




ROFL Jane, you know what happens when you ask questions like that. “Can this day get any worse?” Duh. Remember Maura’s comment before doing the warehouse sting – “what could go wrong?” I think you really should refrain from those types of questions. Remember Murphy’s Law? Anyway, first Maura, now both Korsak & Frost who don’t break into Jane’s personal oblivion and alert her to the TP tail. Thank goodness for little brothers, I guess.


** Jane (sans TP tail) is with Korsak and Frost again in homicide. Frost has identified that symbol Jane was wondering about. It’s a yoga place, which Rachel paid $25K on as well. Jane has Korsak come with her to the yoga studio. Frankie comes in and Frost gets a call-out for another dead body. He has Frankie come along.




** Jane & Korsak arrive at the yoga studio, each with a coffee cup. Jane sees a portrait of Sensei Matta on the wall.
J: would you pay $25 grand to look like that?
K: Nah, I’d rather drink my six pack, have a Boston Whaler with a tuna tower.
A receptionist arrives.
R: Welcome. Love & light. (notices their coffee cups) I’m sorry, this is a caffeine free zone.
J: oh. Uh, I’m … I’m sorry. We had no idea.
Korsak goes to put his cup in a container.
R: oh, that goes in composting. The middle one. It’s so wonderful when couples come in together.
K: oh, we’re not a…
J: accustomed to…such a nice yoga studio.
R: yoga’s an excellent way to keep up with the demands of a young wife.
J: and I’m very demanding.
K: whew, you sure are…babe.
R: I teach a beginners’ class in a few minutes. You’ll take it.
J: oh, no, no, no, no. We’re not dressed for yoga. Actually, we would like to meet Sensei Matta.
R: nobody meets the master until after class. (she hands them some clothes)
K: you have anything a little less…stretchy?


LOL Jane & Vince posing as a couple? Classic. We’ve already had one person think that Jane & Frost were a couple (psycho nurse Randi), so it’s fun to have the former partners be together this time. It makes me wish they were still doing undercover assignments in DCU together. I’d love to see them pose as a real couple for an undercover assignment. At least we know Vince does yoga. I wonder how much Melody taught him.


** Frankie and Frost arrive at the scene with the dead body fished out of the lake. It looks quite decomposed.
F: wow. His eyes & his tongue are gone. That’s from fish activity, right? Looks different in the books. He’s got moobs.
B: It’s from the bloating. He’s been in the water a…a while (Frost is trying to keep from puking)
F: hey, look at his forehead, you think that’s fish activity?
B: could be blunt force trauma.
F: so it might not be a suicide. Right?
B: well
F: hey, hey, hey. Come here, grab his arm. We can pull him out ourselves, right?
Tommy arrives.
T: I’ll get him.
F: Tommy, what are you doing here?
T: working. What? You think you & Jane are the only Rizzolis that can look death in the face? Move.
Tommy goes to the body, looks at the partially decomposed corpse & pukes. Frost immediately pukes as well. Frankie looks at the other guy that was with Tommy
F: what about you? Can you look death in the face?
The guy is barely holding his in.





Poor Tommy. Yep, still not as strong as his other siblings in certain matters. Then there’s Frankie, who’s still gung-ho about the job and maybe even a bit too eager. He’s making a lot of guesses. Like brother, like sister? He even got in a “moobs" comment like his sister did as well. Nice.


** meanwhile, back at the yoga place…Jane & Korsak are in the middle of the class. Vince is struggling. He falls on his mat & Jane helps him, but gets told not to by the teacher/reception lady.
R: if you can’t do this simple pose, just do adho mukha svanasana.
J: (softly to Korsak) I’d like to adho gushkavana her.
K: I’ll help.

Poor Vince. And he gets stuck with the purple shirt too. Jane gets the bright green. It’s nice that Jane & Vince get some quality ‘together’ time like this. LOL



** in the morgue, Maura is doing the autopsy on Frankie & Frost’s floater. Frankie is there with her.
M: Hmm apparent skull fracture.
F: holy crap, it’s my first murder.
M: stop right there. I can’t take it. I can’t do it.
F: what? W-what’d I say?
M: this man might have hit his head when he jumped, or slammed into rocks when his bungie cord snapped. For all I know, Wile E Coyote dropped an anvil on his head.
F: it was just a gut feeling and…
M: this is a scientific process. Do you understand, officer? You do not guess, leap to conclusions, speculate, theorize, wonder, or tell me about your gut. Am I clear?
F: yeah. Clear.


Yikes. It seems that Maura gets pissy when it’s not her LLBFF in the morgue while doing an autopsy. It seems that Jane is the only one who gets to leap to conclusions, speculate, theorize, wonder, or follow her gut when with Maura and a dead body. Poor Maura. She’s so out of sorts without Jane. Even though it’s a Rizzoli, it’s not the same. And seriously, Maura gets a Wile. E Coyote reference, and Jane’s not even there to hear it? Really, writers? That’s so not fair.


** back at the yoga studio, Jane & Vince are done with their class and are with the teacher/receptionist again
K: we’re so transformed, we’re ready to meet Sensei Matta.
R: he rarely leaves his spiritual retreat in Western Massachusetts.
J: but you said after…
K: it’s a ways, but it might be worth it. What’s the address?
R: you can’t know that until you ascend.
J: that girl, hon…what was her name? Rachel…?
K: oh Rachel Lawson, the one that told us about this place.
J: yes, she said she’d been to the retreat
R: Rachel ascended very quickly.
K: huh. She must be flexible.
R: Sensei Matta believes Rachel is, uh…spiritually gifted.
J: hmmm
R: I’ll get you packets to fill out. Now that you’re ready to ascend, you’ll put a credit card on file. (she goes to get the files)
J: Rachel’s parents said she didn’t have a boyfriend.
K: yeah. Bet they didn’t know she was “spiritually gifted” either.
J: I got a bad feeling.
K: me too.

These two are just so wonderful together. I’d like to see more flashbacks from them when they were partners before Frost…before Hoyt first got to Jane. Bruce McGill is just so awesome in whatever he does.


** now they’re back at homicide. Frost has tracked down Sensei Matta’s real name – Matthew Moore. The guy bought 20,000 acres of land in Western Mass in the past year, using the non-profit religious exemption to buy the protected land. Frost also has video of Rachel going into the tunnel entrance on the day she was murdered. Maura comes into homicide. She addresses Korsak.
M: The victim’s rash was caused by benzene and 1, 4-dioxane (Jane rolls her eyes) likely from a fresh water source. I’ve narrowed it down to seven lakes in Western Massachusetts.
J: are you saying those lakes are polluted?
M: I’m not. The pH levels and mineral content are.
J: Swell. My Sprout Troop used to have sleepover camps at one of those lakes.
M: you were a Sprout Trooper?
J: yes. Why is that so hard to believe?
M: you mean, because your duty as a Sprout Trooper to be kind, friendly, generous?
J: I was so sweet and kind, I won “sweetest camper”…two years in a row. So, ha ha ha.
M: was anyone else there? (after a silence, she looks at Korsak, who gives her a look) … to watch you…accept your award?
J: nice recovery.





Oooh. Snippy and pissy yet, are we miss Maura? I love how she took her cue from Korsak that she was getting a bit too hostile. I’m not sure anyone has seen her like this before. It seemed that Maura has learned sarcasm and snippy from miss Jane.


** Maura continues with her analysis
M: the pollution must be recent because it’s not showing up in any of the water quality reports.
F: bet that’s where Rachel was driving that campus car too.
J: yeah, but it’s a small needle in a big haystack.
M: I am going there and doing my own water quality testing.
Korsak & Frost look at each other.
K: Hey, Dr Isles, since you’re going anyway, would you get a statement from Matthew Moore? Goes by the name of Sensei Matta?
J: Oh. You can’t have a medical examiner go get a statement from a suspect. That’s MY job.
F: Hey, you two can go together.
J: I’m sure she’s taking a different route.
K: there’s only one.
M: you’re right, I am. I have to go get a few things.
J: I’ll tell Cavanaugh.
The ladies leave.
F: swing and a miss
K: where’s your car? (he makes a phone call) Hey Mo, it’s Korsak.


So it’s time for Korsak and Frost to start with the major matchmaking. Oy. I’m really tired of the snippy. I’d love to have the sweet and sarcastic back really soon, please. These two were not made for fighting each other. Seriously.


** As Jane & Maura walk out the front door of PD, Mo is hauling away both their cars.
J: Oh.
M: Hey, my car.
J: what are you doing to my car?
Mo: Uh, my job. I don’t know how many times I’ve told you about parking here.
J: I park here every day, Mo.
Mo: oh, not today. Have a great rest of your day, alright?
M: I’m going to rent a car.
J: yeah, me too.
Angela comes out the door.
A: hey, don’t forget your lunch.
J: what is that?
A: Mortadella on foccacia bread with a little roasted red pepper.
J: Korsak put you up to this?
A: All I’m going through, and you two can’t be civil?
J: don’t you dare pull the annulment card.
A: he wants me to sign a paper that says I didn’t want you kids. Ma, we’re grownups. We know you wanted us.
A: If you’re such a grownup, then act like one and stop this.
(Frost pulls up in his car)
F: Hey, just saw Big Mo towing your cars. You want to borrow mine?
J: oh, you’re good.
A: one little thing for your mother and you can’t do it.
M: it is more energy efficient if we take one car.
J: Fine, but I’m driving.
M: why do you get to drive?
J: because it’s an unmarked, and because I’m a cop, and becau…just get in the car, Maura.
F: have a good time, girls.
M: (in the car) I’m not listening to Led Zeppelin.
J: I’m not listening to Yo-Yo Ma.
M: I don’t listen to Yo-Yo Ma…in the…car.
J: oh, that’s right, pardon me. Yo-Yo Ma’s just for the Jacuzzi. Put your seatbelt on.
M: It’s on.





Oh, it’s on alright. It’s been on for two episodes already. Korsak & Frost needed a bit of help from Mama R as well. It was great to see Big Mo again. A little continuity with a familiar face is nice.


** and the drive begins
M: the next lake is 42.3910 degrees north.
J: longitude? Really? Can’t you just tell me to turn left at Popeye’s Chicken?
M: there is no Popeye’s Chicken in Western Massachusetts. 72.3830 west.
Jane turns on the radio with loud rock music. Maura turns it back off.
M: the acoustic vibrations of hard rock have been shown to increase the risk of an accident.
Jane sniffs & makes a face, then opens her window.
J: did you pass gas?
M: no, I did not.
J: (coughs) okay. (Jane’s phone rings. She hits a button) hey Ma.
A: are you girls having fun?
J: oh yeah, we’re great. Maura’s having gastrointestinal issues.
M: I am not.
A: Jane used to fart on long car rides and blame her brothers.
J: did you just say “fart”?
A: have you listened to the audiobook yet? It’s in the cooler.
Maura pulls it out.
M: Uh, “What to do when your former best friend is a bitch” [the actual title says “What to do when you & your friend can’t be friends”]
J: really?
M: too bad, it’s wet.
A: have fun. Love you both.
J: bye Ma.

Yes, Maura really said the “B” word. I loved her version of the title. She really has been hanging around Jane for too long, methinks. Jane farting in the car? Really? Mama R is trying so hard for these two. How can you not love this woman? Might I just say - UGHHH. The fake scenery from inside the car as they were driving was really annoying. Couldn’t they really do any better than that obvious fake stuff? Oy.


** back at PD, Frankie ID’d the floater as Paul McNamara. The professor had a video lecture on fracking. (I first heard that a couple seasons ago on CSI)
Frankie: Somebody killed him.
Frost: we don’t know that, Frankie.
Frankie: You saw the front of his head. Oh wait. You…you didn’t, did you?
They laugh.
Frost: remind me not to invite you to my next floater.

Frankie still hasn’t learned to lay off the assumptions a bit. Where’s big sis to guide him when he needs it? Oh yeah, she’s too busy trading snippies with her bestie.

** the drive continues
M: go straight past the coniferous spruce.
J: maybe I’ll pass a hemlock too. Oh look a homo sapien. Oh crap. In a guard booth. (she reaches to put her jacket over the center console to hide the cop equipment as she comes up to the guard. ) Love and light.
Guard: Love and light, are you here for the retreat?
J: yes.
Guard: Okay, what’s your name?
J: oh, uh. Our names may not be on your list. (she pats Maura’s hand) WE…we just ascended today, in fact.
Guard: Oh, well, unless you have your double platinum soul certificate, I can only allow you go as far as the public picnic area.
J: Ohh, well, we understand.
The guard raises the barricade.
J: love and light.
Jane looks in the rear view and sees the guy writing down their plate number
J: let’s hope he doesn’t run that.


But you know he will Jane. That’s how your day is going, right? It’s fun to finally get a little bit of touching in for our girls. It’s been a while. I miss it.


** the ladies are walking through the woods, some people doing yoga nearby.
M: there’s the lake
J: nothing gets past you.
Maura takes a water sample, then notices some piping nearby. She takes a pic with her phone, but ends up dropping it in the water. She sees two guys on the other side of the lake.
M: we need to leave.
J: well I need to talk to Matthew Moore.
M: no, listen to me. We’re in danger.
J: those don’t look like yogis. What did you take a picture of?
M: I’ll tell you in the car. PLEASE trust me.

Awww. We know Jane will trust her. There’s no doubt about that. An interesting turnabout in that it’s Maura who senses the immediate danger and not Jane, the trained detective.


** back in the car, Maura shares her info.
M: Rachel definitely swam in that lake and I know why it’s so polluted. I saw fracking equipment.
J: what is fracking?
M: it’s a controversial process to drill for natural gas. They pump hundred of chemicals thousands of feet underground. It pollutes groundwater.
J: You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s why we pulled a Thelma & Louise?
M: well, Jane, it’s illegal here.
J: Rachel was a geologist. Maybe Sensei Matta didn’t bring her here to sleep with her. Maybe he brought her here to help.
M: yeah, but she wouldn’t have helped. Her interest was in the environment.
J: exactly. So maybe she saw what you saw. She uncovered the fracking, and that’s what…
A large pickup comes crashing into the driver’s side door.

Another big ouch. Aren’t these ladies so much better when they’re working together and not bickering needlessly? They just need to somehow keep themselves out of trouble that always seems to find them.


** their car ends up in a ravine in the trees. Maura’s leg is stuck. All of a sudden, someone starts shooting at them. Jane starts shooting back
J:Maura, get out of the car. Get out of the car.
M: I can’t get my leg out.
J: (continues to shoot) get out of the car.
M: my leg is stuck
J: Maura, go. Run.
They both make it out the rider’s side.
J: stay down. Stay down.
Jane shoots again.
J: go for the tree line. Go. Go.
Jane shoots again before following Maura.




Nice ass grab at the end there, Jane. That’ll get the Rizzles shippers gaga. I think Jane needs a bit more time at the firing range. All those shots, and not even a single hit? C’mon girl. You need to aim. And having that pickup slam into the driver’s door like that and Jane basically not being injured? Really writers? Really?


** back at PD, Korsak is having no luck at calling Jane.
Frost: maybe they’re yelling so loud they can’t hear their phones.
In one of the photos, Frankie notices something. Korsak identifies it as an impression of a large shutoff valve, like the ones that were in the tunnel where Rachel was found. They believe the two cases are connected.



** our ladies are wandering through the woods. Maura is limping heavily. She asks for them to stop.
J: what? Did you pull something?
M: No. (she sits down) take it off.
J: all right. All right.
Jane unzips Maura’s high boots.
J: oh my God, Maura. Your leg, i-it’s hard, and it’s cold, it’s like a dead body. What is that?
M: it’s compartment syndrome.
J: well, what does that mean?
M: the post-tibial artery must have ruptured in the crash.
J: but you’ve been walking on it.
M: blood from the artery is leaking. The pressure built. And you the blood is trapped in one of the lower compartments of my leg.
J: okay, bottom line it for me.
M: the blood supply to my lower leg has been compromised. I’ll lose my leg unless…
J: unless we get you to a hospital.
M: unless you do a fasciotomy.
J: Maura, come on.
M: I need something sharp. (she pulls out a nail file)
J: What? No, Maura, I…Maura, I’m not gonna cut your leg off with a file.
M: do you have sugar packets?
J: no, why did you bring coffee?
M: I could use it to dress the wounds. Do you still have your phone?
J: yes. Yes. Why didn’t I think of that? That’s luck, we can call 9-1-1. Oh, it’s busted.
M: (takes the phone) the touch screen has gorilla glass. (she starts cutting her leg(
J: I’m…I’m not gonna do this.
M: it’ll work. Okay. You’re gonna make a six-inch incision right here. And a five inch there. Okay, just try not to cut the superficial peroneal nerve.
J: No, I can’t do this.
M: take off your shirt.
J: what? Okay, now I know you’ve suffered a head injury. And let’s go
M: to bind the wound. Okay, come on.
J: Oh God, Maura. Please…please don’t make me do this.
M: listen to me. Listen to me. You just keep on cutting, okay, till the blood starts to flow.
J: Maura, I’m sorry. I can’t do this.
M: you’re a sprout trooper, okay? Just…once you make the double incision, you massage the wound, like this. Okay, the blood will be black.
J: I can’t. I can’t. I’m so sorry. I can’t do this. I’m sorry.
M: I really like my leg, Jane. Come on.
J: Oh god. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. You ready? (Jane starts cutting)
M: use more pressure. I’m okay.
J: all right.
M: ow. I’m not okay. AAAHHH.
Maura convulses & goes still.
J: Maura. Maura.





Crap. Crap. Crap. Ewww. I hate scenes like that. Did that remind you of the scene in the morgue where Jane pleaded with Maura to do the procedure on Frankie to save his life? It seems that it’s Jane’s turn to repay the favor here. However, things aren’t going as planned. It’s wonderful how much trust Maura still has in Jane, even though Jane keeps telling her she can’t. That’s what these two are all about. Yin & Yang. Jane & Maura. LLBFF’s.


** back at PD, the guys are finding a connection with Rachel to the professor. She watched his fracking video. The two met to discuss the fracking evidence Rachel found. Korsak tries again to call Jane.

** back in the woods, Jane is cradling Maura, who’s now sleeping. Jane’ s blue shirt wrapped around Maura’s wounded leg.
J: (whispers) come on, Maura. It’s time to wake up.
M: (drowsily) I dreamt we were camping. I voted for you. Can you turn the heat down?
J: come on, we got to get you out of here.
M: you won sweetest camper again. I didn’t win. My leg hurts. Why…why does my leg hurt?
A twig snaps nearby. Jane grabs her gun. Matta & some other guys.
J: Sensei Matta, I presume?
SM: and you are officer…?
J: detective Rizzoli.
SM: detective? Kind of stupid to drive a car registered to the Boston Police out to my retreat. Don’t you think, detective?
The other two guys surround the ladies.
SM: get up, both of you.
J: My friend’s hurt. She can’t move.
SM: (to his guys) get her off the ground.
They take Jane’s gun and pull up Maura.




Why do the bad guys always have to ruin the great Jane/Maura moments? It’s sweet how Jane will protect those she loves at all costs. I know there was never a thought in Jane’s mind about leaving and going to find some help somewhere.


** back at PD, Korsak got a call saying that Matthew Moore was an ex Army Ranger and a Blackwater operative. Korsak has had enough. He’s going to check out each of the seven lakes in search of Jane & Maura.


That’s why I love the guy. He knows that something is very amiss, and he needs to do something about it.


** back in the woods, Matta & his men are leading Jane and Maura (who’s being carried) back to their crashed car in the ravine. They’ve strapped the ladies in the car and will be opening the spillway for the reservoirs and the polluted water starts to rush towards the car after the guys leave. Jane is trying her phone and it’s still not working. She’s trying to use the glass from her phone to cut her restraints. Maura is still quite groggy.
M: try your phone.
J: I can’t, Maura. It’s busted and it got wet.
M: call your mom. Tell her we’re friends again.
J: (chuckles) okey dokey. (talks loudly) Hey Ma (cellphone beeps) oh crap, it works
M: the microprocessor dried up. Yaaaaay.
J: Maybe just texting. Wait. Crap. No. I can only send symbols. Son of a
M: type 42 point 3910
J: okay, thank you, Maura.
M: bing bing. Boop boop boop. Bing bing. Boop boop.
J: it’s morse code. Nice job, Maura.
Jane sends the text to Korsak.




Awww Even as groggy as she is, Maura still saves the day. How cool is that? How cool is Jane in her white tank top. It’s a great look I wish we’d see more of. LOL


** Korsak is sitting in his car at one of the seven lakes with a map on the steering wheel. He gets the text from Jane. After a quick “what the hell?” he figures the message out fairly quickly. The water is rushing past Jane & Maura’s car still. Jane looks out the back of the car.
J: that view is not okay.
Korsak calls out
K: Jane, Maura are you down there?
J: Korsak? Down here. Help.
He comes to Maura’s side of the car.
K: you okay?
J: yeah. We got to get Maura out of here. All right? The spillway to the reservoir is open. Hurry.
Vince opens the door and goes to lift Maura out.
M: Did Sargent Korsak come on our camping trip?
K: great job with the morse code. The coordinates put me almost on top of you.
J: watch her leg. Watch her leg.
K: (to Maura) can you walk?
M: I can hop.
Jane climbs out of the driver’s side window.
K: you stayed with her.
J: I wouldn’t leave her.




Duh. Who would think such a thing, that Jane would even think of leaving her LLBFF? I love how it was just Korsak to the rescue and not the entire cavalry to make a big fanfare. It was Korsak to the rescue both the first and last times with Hoyt for Jane. It’s only fitting that it’s him again. I love that.


** We’ve returned to Casa Isles. Boy, I’ve really missed that place lately. It’s more like home than Jane’s “crappy little apartment”. Tommy and Jane are helping a hobbling Maura into the house. Angela is giving orders, as usual.
A: Frankie, come help. They’re back from the hospital.
Frankie takes over for Jane as he & Tommy bring Maura to the couch.
F: I spoke to Korsak. They got Sensei Matta & his guys.
F: (goes over to Jane) are you sure you’re okay?
J: yeah. Let’s get her some water.
Frankie & Jane go into the kitchen, leaving Tommy & Maura on the couch.
T: so, I didn’t tell my pop about knowing you-know-who.
M: I think that’s wise.
T: you think I should tell my Ma?
M: NO.
Angela comes walking by.
A: Tommy, did you hurt her?
T: No
M: no, no he didn’t. (they all gather around the couch now) My surgeon was very impressed with Jane’s incisions.
A: I always wanted a doctor in the family.
J: well, too bad. You got two cops and…
F: an undertaker.
T: No, no, no, no not doing that…ever again.
Angela laughs.
A: I got three great kids.
J: I think you got a doctor, too. (she moves to sit next to Maura on the couch)
M: thanks. And thank you for saving my leg, Jane.
A: I think you two should apologize to each other.
J & M: Butt out.
Maura fake punches Jane in the arm
M: I’m sorry, if you are.
J: Okay, but I’m less sorry. No, we were both jerks.
A: you were both assholes.
T: Ma, watch your language.
They all look at Angela in surprise.
J: and … I didn’t really win “sweetest camper” award.
M: you didn’t?
Jane shakes her head.
M: I missed you.
J: I missed you too.
Big hug.







Awww let’s all have a great big group hug. I think we’ve all earned it. It’s been a rough few months – first having to wait in anticipation for what the blowup would be between them after Paddy fell to the floor from the catwalk, then waiting for the two to finally kiss & make up.

Hey, what happened to the kissing part? Doesn’t a makeup always come with kissing? We got the hug. I want the kisses now too.

And how cute is it to have the whole family together. Mama R, her two boys, daughter and daughter…in law?

Okay, close enough. Now we just need an Angela/Vince hookup soon. Then I’ll be quite content.

Until trouble finds the dynamic duo once again…which is probably next week. Bummer.



Anyway, let’s take a quick wrap-up and mention a few points:

Questions of Korsak going through menopause, Frost knowing the fat/skinny clothes, the besties kiss…er, I mean hug & make up… nope. This show isn’t gay at all. Really. That’s why I love it so much.

It seemed that Colin Eggelsfied had a bit of a Tom Cruise vibe to Tommy this time around. Maybe it was the suit & tie.

I’m thinking that Jane might think twice about ever having Maura go out into the field again to do any kind of police or undercover work. This is two times in a row that it’s all gone apeshit, with Maura caught in the crossfire.

Another thing I’ve noticed in the first two episodes of this season is that there are finally some new ‘establishing shots’ of Boston that they’re using.

The pairings in this episode were interesting. In the first two seasons, some of the scenes would have been Jane/Maura scenes. Maybe that’s why they came off funnier than they really should have been. I’m guessing with the tension between our two beloved main characters, they felt the need to liven everything else up until the ‘intervention’ got underway. I loved when Jane & Frost went through Rachel’s room and the cute banter between the two partners. The Jane/Korsak doing yoga thing was hysterical as well. Even a scene with Frost/Tommy and Frost/Frankie. Last week, we had Cavanaugh and Angela very much in the mix of characters. I like how the show is finally branching out to make a more extended ‘family’.

Finally, it’s so nice to have the ladies back together again. It’s been a long wait.